1. Sudahkah anda menulis Diari Cinta anda hari ini?
    Sebagai forumer Forum Tentang Cinta, anda kini boleh menulis dan mencoret kisah manis cinta anda di ruangan Diari Cinta. Hanya satu diari sahaja ya dibenarkan untuk setiap seorang.
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books and coffee

Discussion in 'Diari Cinta' started by keira, Jun 22, 2015.

  1. keira
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    keira New Member

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    wait wait.

    happiness is a blessing. misery and pain are blessing in disguise. we should always be grateful. no matter what. and anybody can say anything like they knew better. but the truth is, they don't. they can judge. oh yes, they can. let them be. who cares anyway. life isn't always sunshine and rainbow. people make mistakes. people learn. people change. people grew up.

    i always remind myself, not to judge others like i don't want to be judge. it's simple. don't do things that u don't want other people do to u. be better. be kind. stop being selfish. if people make mistake, guide them. help them to change. live in a world full of kindness. kan ke semua tu akan ditanya di akhirat?


    the secret to receive is give give give. give without expecting anything in return. give with no hidden agenda or intention. give sincerely. then, u will see the difference. trust me, i've tried. don't be afraid to change. don't wait to be better. life won't bite. it just one roller coaster ride.
     
  2. keira
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    keira New Member

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    petang.

    coffee kat sebelah make it perfect. hari ni aku ada banyak masa. aku kalau ada banyak masa, aku akan tido. haha sikit pun xpeduli nak pegi gym ke, nak pegi swimming ke, nak pegi lepaks ngan kengkawan ke, nak basuh baju ke. all of that can wait. ahh xhealthy nye hidup skrg. rasa bersalah. haih.

    yeah, tapi still tak buat pape2. haha rasa bersalah je. cukup letew. menulis pun exercise jari gak apa. bila menulis, aku suka luah emosi apa yang aku tengah rasa. right now, i just feel very relax. takde apa yang merisaukan dan menyesakkan. eventhough ada sedikit benda yang buat aku tertanya2. hmm. but that also can wait.

    life is more meaningful when u are content. just be happy and grateful despite everything that happened.

    Allah kan ada. u are never alone.
     
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  3. keira
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    keira New Member

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    uhui... selamat hari raya olss... ngeh2.. aku dah lama xmenulis.. bukan sebab apa.. sebab busy.. dan sebab terlalu banyak benda nak difikir dan diselesaikan.. biarlah setel sikit2 masalah dulu, baru rasa nak bersantai.. menulis adalah satu hobi santai bagi aku.. dulu mungkin my fav thing to do everyday.. but now, masa terlalu mencemburui aku.. life terasa penuh pancaroba.. dugaan datang bertimpa2.. but im loving it everyday..i've never feel so alive.. life terasa penuh.. penat.. tapi puas.. entahlah.. some people might say, kenapalah nak bersusah payah.. kenapalah nk hidup unpredictable mcm ni.. huru hara.. kesana kesini.. kena tipu, kena mcm2, but still smiling.. hehe because i'm living the life i wanted.. and it's worth it..
     
  4. keira
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    keira New Member

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    heluuu beautiful...

    u!yes u.. u r beautiful.. despite all your imperfections... u are unique in your own way.. gitew.. selalu terbaca kata2 motivasi gini.. tapi bila tengok cermin, erghh ada je rasa tak kena kan.. kulit tona xsekata la.. jerawat la.. hitam la.. eye bag la.. haha never ending story... bagi aku simple je.. my smile is my secret weapon.. hehe sebab dh la xbape nk cantik, kalau ko asyik masam je 24 jam, lagila haru kan.. so senyum jela... belajar senyum dengan stranger... senyum dengan makcik cleaner.. dengan orang jual makanan.. dengan orang berselisih naik lif.. ala, tak luak pun senyum ko... haha walaupun kepala tengah berserabut dgn macam2 masalah, tapi bila ko senyum, ko dapat rasa dunia ni lebih bearable.. terasa dunia smiling back at u.. gitew.. ko xcaye?try la buat.. huhu

    nway, tengah minum coffee sambil santai.. oh, i love a nite like this.. despite demam sebab haze yang teruk, aku still bertabah.. maybe esok nak balik kampung.. yeayeayeayea harap2 kampung kurang berjerebu.. kalau jerebu gak, tataula nak lari mana.. marikh ke.. haha
     
  5. keira
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    keira New Member

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    tadi masa aku mengemas2, terjumpa satu buku.. buku yang dihadiahkan oleh seorang kawan rapat yang dah pun berkahwin.. dah agak lama dia hadiahkan buku ni.. sejak dari dia mendirikan rumah tangga dengan jejaka pilihan.. tapi laa ni baru terdetik tuk aku belek2.. termenung aku sekejap.. sebelum ni, aku letak tepi je biar bersawang.. hehehe ampun kawan.. aku bukan apa, sebab tajuk buku tu je dah buat hati aku rasa gundah gulana.. haha over nau trauma.. apa yang aku tahu, buku tu berkisarkan tentang bagaimana untuk mendapatkan mr right.. hmm 'the one'.. soulmate.. n tah apa lagi term yang digunakan.. bila aku belek muka surat pertama, ada sedikit ucapan dicoretkan oleh besfren aku tu.. tersenyum sekejap aku.. hope u find your prince charming katanya.. haha terdetik rasa rindu dengan kawan aku ni.. dulu dia lah tempat aku curahkan perasaan..kesedihan.. gosip.. dan apa saja.. sejak dia kawin dan berpindah, dah tak berjumpa dah.. contact pun dah jarang.. bz dengan life masing2.. aku pun taknak ganggu dia dengan hidup baru dia.. hmm memori..

    sebut tentang memori, malam ni penuh dengan memori.. entah kenapa.. rasa sedih.. dah lama aku buang rasa ni jauh2.. sebab aku tahu, takde point untuk aku rasa apa2 lagi.. hanya menyeksa jiwa.. tapi, ahh.. sume salah buku ni.. hmm
     
  6. keira
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    keira New Member

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    kadang2 sebab cinta, manusia sanggup buat apa saja.. sanggup berkorban.. masa, tenaga, duit, perasaan dan macam2 lagi.. kadang2 sampai ketepikan kehendak dan kepentingan sendiri sebab nak membahagiakn orang yg dicinta.. bila dia takde, rasa resah.. rasa hidup tak lengkap.. perangai pun boleh berubah disebabkan cinta.. malah kehidupan sebelum ni langsung macam tak signifikan selepas menemui cinta.. penangan cinta punya pasal.. orang lainla.. orang lain.. bukan aku.. haha

    but now bagi aku, walaupun aku rasa semua tu, aku akan reserved untuk diri sendiri.. nk berkorban pun ok la.. tapi berpada pada.. sebab org laa ni bukan leh caya sgt (tak semua).. manusia ni xperfect kan.. harini ckp lain, esok cakap lain.. gaya sembang macam nak bagi seluruh gunung lautan bulan bintang, tapi bila diuji sikit terus semua jadi pasir.. n habuk2 yang berterbangan.. haha termasuk la aku yang tengah menulis ni... haha cinta my a$#.. hahaha k over.. aku bukan pe.. banyak sangat dah berlaku depan mata.. sampai jadi tawar hati.. tawar setawar tawarnya.. bila orang sebut tentang cinta sejati la hapela, dalam hati aku cam hmmm.. ya rite.. whatever.. haha klaka how i used to be such a romantic fool... pengalaman itu walaupun pahit, tapi mendewasakan.. bukan nak kata xwujud, or nk perlekehkan. tapi berpada2 la.. dah bagi hope kat org, pstu di sia2kan.. the destruction to someone's soul tu, kita pun tak tahu kan.. memangla dah besar..masing2 leh pk, n bertanggungjawab dgn diri sendiri.. but still, it's not a cool thing to do;to break someone else's heart.. lagi2 lepas orang tu berkorban macam2.. apapun, semua berbalik kepada diri sendiri.. kita yang tentukan, siapa yang kita nk jadi.. whether kita nk jadi happy, or sebaliknya... biarlah pengalaman lepas tu jadi pengajaran.. berterus2an menyalahkan orang lain diatas apa yg berlaku pun, macam tak menerima takdir plak.. macamlah kita sorang je yang diuji kan.. orang lain lagi teruk ujiannya.. siapalah kita nak cakap kita mangsa teraniaya setiap masa.. tah orang lain yang turut dianiaya kita, kita pun xsedar kan.. kita je rasa diri ni mangsa, tapi kenyataan sebenarnya entah sebaliknya.. itulah.. ko dah kenapa malam ni kuar tazkirah hati plak ni hahaha...msti sbb aku tengah bosan yg amat.. bukan pe, baru berbincang soal hati dgn kawan.. buat aku berfikir panjang..

    apapun to remind myself again. cinta dunia ni hanya sementara.. cinta yang Satu tu yang kekal abadi.. ingat tu, ingat..hehe
     
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  7. keira
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    keira New Member

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    bila aku terasa melankolik, aku suka menulis.. jarang untuk aku ada masa melayan rasa.. aku terlalu sibuk menyibukkan diri.. hehe barulah aku rasa bagaimana struggle untuk hidup bermula dari bawah.. zero.. bagaimana susahnya untuk survive dalam dunia perniagaan.. satu pengalaman berharga yang tak dapat di trade dengan apa pun.. aku bersyukur dengan kesempatan yang diberi untuk aku belajar.. i really learn the hard way.. hehe sama dengan apapun yang berlaku dalam hidup.. personal, career atau sebagainya.. aku mesti jatuh terduduk, pstu baru sedar n belajar.. well, people learn differently.. people live their life differently.. what make it exciting and meaningful, is you.

    i have a friend.. i know him quite well.. kawan lama.. aku dah lama lupa apa yang tak best penah berlaku antara kami.. tapi aku tak penah lupa how cheerful and full of life he was when i first knw him.. he's like the most exciting people i've ever known.. he live a life full of adventures.. and i always envy him for that.. sebab itu adalah life yang aku selalu impikan.. just do and go wherever i want to.. without any worry in the world.. hmm i dunno about now.. it seems like he's changed.. like life tiring him so.. and it drained the life out of him.. i hope he can always find himself back.. i miss my cheerful and adventurous friend.. it doesn't matter how life treat u or where it bring u to.. just go on with it.. but never lose yourself in it.. cheer up, my friend.. i miss u..
     
  8. keira
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    keira New Member

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    ok.. lamanya tak menulis.. in fact, lamanya tak spend masa lama2 depan laptop.. hihi harini cuti.. i've nothing better to do than mengadap laptop.. buat keje sikit2 mana2 yang tertangguh tu.. semalam macam mendapat satu semangat baru.. macam tersedar dari mimpi yang panjang.. berjumpa rakan lama yang menasihatkn aku macam2.. aku, as usual, adalah seorang yang keras kepala.. susah nak terima nasihat orang.. semalam, aku terdiam panjang.. buat aku berfikir.. i shouldnt have run from problems.. i should face it like a champion.. haha sambil buat benda yang aku suka, habiskan juga apa yang telah aku mulakan.. don't be a coward.. jangan lari setiap kali masalah datang.. this is not about money..it's about to be someone that u r meant to be.. an achievement.. setting a benchmark.. make a difference.. people can say that what i try to achieve is insignificant.. that i also can be successful without it.. but, this not about them.. i do it, because i can.. and i want to.. and it is sure not a bad thing after all..

    so, gather up your courage young lady.. u can do this!
     
  9. keira
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    keira New Member

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    Harini ada orang call aku sampai 4 kali..terasa sweet plak.. dah lama xdapat attention macam ni.. teringat zaman bercinta dolu2.. haha walaupun cakap mcm kucing dengan arnab sebab tak berapa clear, still rasa sweet.. hihi

    Ok la gudnite. Saje nk feeling2.
     
  10. keira
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    keira New Member

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    Aku berasa sedikit melankolik.. selama ni aku rasa, aku selalu nk fikir positif.. selalu nk justify perbuatan orang walau bgaimana teruk sekalipun.. kadang2 nampak mcm memperbodohkan diri sendiri.. tapi aku terlalu takut nak benci orang.. takut menjadi tidak adil kerana being judgemental.. people always judge, I know.. but ia tak menjadikan kita a better person than the people we judge.. apa jaminan yang kita pun tak berkelakuan seperti itu?atau mungkin lebih teruk dari tu.. aku pujuk diri.. aku cuba nak cari hikmah yang hadir.. tapi aku masih tak nafikan perasaan kesal yang ada.. I've done so many things that I've regretted in life.. I know I will pay for it.. already did.. I just hope, all will end up well eventually..

    That I will be forgiven by Him.
     
  11. keira
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    keira New Member

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    I know I always act strong and just being ok with everything.. the fact that I was so messed up, im actually doing things that hurts me more.. I hate to hear my voice quivering with sadness.. my silence mistaken for ignorance.. and I simply dont want people to see that side of me.. that vulnerable side of me.. emotions are silly things.. it tends to be so dramatic, sometimes its unreal.. and things that is unreal, has no meaning to me..
     
  12. keira
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    keira New Member

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    2015 ends. It ends with the old me.

    I'm moving on to a new chapter.

    With lots of happiness and moments.

    I'm collecting moments to cherish instead of regretting.

    Eventhough it's a bit late, welcome 2016.
     
  13. keira
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    keira New Member

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    Feeling tired of myself lately.. I shouldn't trust my heart anymore.. it hit me, I will always be that silly girl who always do things mindlessly and hurting myself in the process.. haih.. its not fun anymore.. at certain age, it totally exhausting to deal with drama.. today, I made a promise to myself.. I will just live quietly and never bother with anything so dangerous as love relationship anymore.. its not healthy for my heart.. and my brain.. I might end up going crazy.. after all, I am not quite normal myself.. hew2

    Anyway, I should start to worry about my study.. it was long postponed as I was busy with my so called distraction.. well, dad frequently asking about it ;when am I going to graduate.. and I was like... herghh clueless what to say.. I should start again.. I really should.. it such a waste of time if I keep postpone it.. I should move on to the next phase.. sometimes I wonder.. what really happened to me?I got lost for such a long time.. I should stop doing that to myself.. I should admit that I have trouble.. and I should getting help.. I should cure myself.. once n for all.. because I deserve to be happy..

    Time doesn't wait.. so do something before it's too late.. im thinking to do some changes.. lets see how it turns out..
     
  14. keira
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    keira New Member

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    writing, music and memories.. it sure taking me to somewhere else.. it's not a place.. it's a feeling.. i dunno how to describe it.. but it sure is nice.. well, what a morning..

    once in a blue moon.. it's nice to come back to someone i was.. life is not getting any easier.. i found myself frequently hoping for some miracle.. try to take things easy lately.. not think about it too much.. because i might go crazy if i did.. me, the control freak.. not in control of anything.. well, i got a taste of adventure and survival like i wanted.. i think i had enough.. yea, i think so..

    hmm new adventure perhaps?
     
  15. keira
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    keira New Member

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    I am not myself lately. Even I hate to admit it, but I was wrong. I can give thousand reasons to justify my actions, but it wont do myself any justice. Or anyone else.

    Hope it is just a nightmare. And I'll wake up just fine. And be myself again. This is not me, who giving up so easily without a fight. Deym its hard. But im goin to go thru this like I always did. By determination and faith. Who cares about anything else.
     
  16. keira
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    keira New Member

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    Td dengar lagu i'd rather go blind.. versi beyonce.. sedih.. hihi layan lagu2 lama ni mmg fav aku time sebelum tido.. tatau la npe.. rsa cm tetiba di dunia lain.. so romantic and sweet.. and sometimes sad.. n jap g meroyan..pstu stress.. pastu makan sampai gmuk.. haha tah pape tah.. jap krus meleding.. jap ti gmuk plak.. yg pasti stres putus cinta je msti ak kurus.. tp klau stres benda lain, msti ak gmuk sbb asyik mkn.. kalau stress dua2, msti bdn cm model.. balance gitew.. hihi

    Apela aku merepek mlm2 buta.. k slmt mlm dunia..
     
  17. keira
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    keira New Member

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    Malam td aku ada berbual dgn makcik cafe brdekatan tmpt ak stay.. aku sekarang ske plak melepak borak ngan org tua.. hihi seronok sebab dorang banyak cerita.. yg pasti mkcik ni baik sgt.. terus ak rindu kat parents aku.. laju2 harini balik kg.. rasa seronok tgk mke dorang.. jiwa aku agak fragile skrg.. bukan sebab apa.. lately aku sedar one thing.. the thing yg aku selalu nafikan, akhirnya jelas.. tentang hati.. patutlah susah sgt aku nk open up to someone.. hmm biarlah.. bg aku sume tu xpenting.. yg penting, hidup mesti terus.. aku dh nmpk goals aku.. lambat, tapi who cares.. dah penat nk rasa marah, kecewa, mengharap dan confuse.. maybe it's time for me to be happy.. I am letting go all my pain n sorrows.. and I will just be a happy me.. no expectations, no drama, no heart ache, no regrets.. senang kan? Hihi well.. after all i've gone thru, nothing actually surprise me anymore.. as long as aku ada Dia, I can get thru and face it all. Faith.
     
  18. keira
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    keira New Member

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    perfect song for a non perfect night, die in your arms.. hehe lagu jiwang.. haih lamanya aku tak menulis.. rasa rindu.. rasa rindu bawa aku ke page ni.. well2..

    entah betul ke orang cakap, kalau kita selalu sangat layan jiwang, hanya membuang masa.. sebab realiti nya terlalu berbeza.. entahlah.. aku pun dah tak tahu apa rasanya jadi jiwang.. hehe dulu aku penah jadi jiwang.. sangat2.. tapi lepas episod luka tu, it broke my heart like never before.. n i lost something in me during that period.. susah nak aku gambarkan apa.. tapi i know i will never be the same person again.. it scarred me so deep.. i think i will never able to trust someone so much again with my heart.. entahlah.. bila orang tanya kenapa aku mcm heartless sangat, aku pun taktahu nak jawab apa.. bukannya aku tak cuba untuk buka hati aku ni.. tapi aku hanya end up kecewakan orang dan diri aku sendiri.. so, better lupakan je.. takpelah, aku cakap dengan famili aku, single je pun ok apa.. hihi boleh lah teman ibu ayah lama sikit.. walaupun selalu susahkan dengan perangai aku yang tak matang2 ni.. hihi anyway, life goes on..

    life sekarang mcm ok la.. quite hectic.. Ramadhan pun hampir tiba.. tak sabar..

    k la.. till next time; when missing u is too much to bear..
     
  19. keira
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    keira New Member

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    OMG.

    Lamanya tak menulis..setahun!and the fact that the last time aku menulis adalah before ramadhan last year, mengingatkan aku the journey that i've been through since then. Wut a roller coaster ride!Well, its a year journey, mesti panjang esei aku, haha.

    Masa itu, aku ingat lagi; ramadhan 2016. Aku memang rasa jiwa terlalu kosong masa tu, berkecamuk. Satu malam, aku doa. Aku doa sungguh2. Nangis kuar hingus semua. Aku mintak: Tunjuk aku jalan keluar. Aku betul2 mintak masa tu. Mungkin berkat bulan ramadhan, aku jumpa jawapan yg aku cari. Aku jumpa Dia. Aku ingat lagi aku kenal dia malam birthday aku. 2 3 hari sebelum raya. Entah kenapa, rasa tenang kenal dia walaupun xjumpa lagi masa tu. Talk thru wasap n call je, sebab aku dah balik kg utk beraya masa tu. Well, the chemistry is fast. Deym fast. Habis cuti raya, aku pulang. Dia jemput datang raya rumah dia, jumpa mak ayah. Well, I did! Eventhough so nervous. First time jumpa, terus jumpa mak ayah kan..kerlass ko maria.. haha well, wut can I say, maybe sudah tertulis. Jodoh akhirnya bertemu. Everything went smoothly after that. Kami kenal raya puasa, dia datang merisik semasa raya haji, dan 3 bulan kemudian, kami nikah. Hanya selepas 6 bulan perkenalan.

    Now, we are expecting our baby due in 2 months. Alhamdulillah. All questions has been answered. All my pain and miseries all these years bring me to this; Happpiness.

    Thank u Allah.
     

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